Disappointed

The weather forecast for the Red this weekend looks kinda iffy. It’s very likely going to rain tomorrow, and so far there’s a 40-50% chance of thunderstorms on Saturday. I would still have gone, but the organizers wanted to back out. For one, we were to go for M’s birthday, and he didn’t seem that up to it. For another, L just fell sick with a fever, so M can’t very well just take off without her. So, stuck here in town yet another weekend.

It’s spring, but I haven’t felt like it is yet. I’ve mostly wasted my weekends thus far this year. I don’t know how people can just laze around at home weekend after weekend, doing nothing. Those days I stay in, lounging in bed, watching movies, stupid TV shows on Netflix that I know are a complete waste of time yet I still can’t peel myself away from, well, at the end of those days, I just end up feeling lethargic and disappointed.

The truth of it is, after so many years climbing, I’m still not a competent enough climber to go out on my own. I still need to rely on others to set up most of the routes for me. I guess, if I were a good enough climber, I’d still go down there anyway this weekend – or simply just my next free weekend. But I can’t.

So I’m disappointed that we can’t go this weekend. I’m pissed that the weather might not want to cooperate, but mostly I’m disappointed that I’m reliant on the others going in order to be able to climb outside myself. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. The rock is always going to be there after all.

Which is also why I’m so excited about the impending canoeing trip to the Boundary Waters. I’m in total control of the trip, no dependence on any one else.

Oh well. Time to move on. Time to start seizing spring. At least the weather in Chicago this weekend doesn’t look like total crap. Biking it is. And climbing – indoor climbing. And I don’t even want to start looking forward to the planned climbing trip to Arkansas over Easter either now.

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